🙅🏽‍♂️ Overcoming People Pleasing for Personal and Spiritual Transformation

🗝️ "The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that.” - Proverbs 29:25

I wanted to take a moment to talk about the importance of not being a people pleaser and the need to focus on pleasing God instead. We've all come across different types of people pleasers in our lives, and sometimes we may have even found ourselves in one of these 10 people pleasing roles:

🥺 A CODEPENDENT person relies excessively on the approval and validation of others, often sacrificing their own needs and priorities in the process. They struggle to set healthy boundaries and say no.

🙇‍♀️ A DOORMAT allows themselves to be taken advantage of due to their inability to stand up for themselves or set limits. They have difficulty saying no and articulating their own needs. Doormats let others exploit them without protest for fear of angering or alienating them. They frequently end up feeling used and resentful.

😬 A PUSHOVER finds it hard to say no or maintains their own position when confronted or pressured by others. They tend to give in readily to demands and expectations to avoid conflict and please people. Pushovers struggle to assert themselves and often feel powerless, unimportant, and resentful in their relationships.

😗 A SYCOPHANT uses flattery, praise, and compliments insincerely to gain influence over others and benefit themselves. They lack authenticity and are motivated by self-interest and opportunism rather than genuine meaning or heartfelt sentiment. Sycophants tell people what they want to hear to get ahead rather than offer truthful feedback.

😛 A TOADY behaves in an ingratiating and servile manner towards those they perceive as influential or their social superiors. Toadies give excessive praise and blindly conform in order to win favor, status, or personal gain. They surrender their own dignity and independence to obtain privilege by association. Toadies hope pious behavior and fawning praise will lead to benefit and preferment.

😊 A BROWN-NOSER provides excessive and insincere praise and flattery, especially to those in authority, hoping to gain favor, benefit or advantage in return. Their compliments and praise are not given in genuine appreciation or admiration but rather strategic manipulation.

😝 A BOOTLICKER demonstrates such fawning praise, deference and obsequious behavior towards others that they sacrifice their own dignity and self-respect in the process. They figuratively lick the boots of those they see as their social superiors to win demeaning favor or scraps of status.

🤓 A SUCK-UP employs exaggerated praise, flattery and compliments, particularly towards those in authority, hoping to gain preference, privilege or favor in return. Their effusive praise and deference are motivated by opportunism rather than sincerity.

😘 A KISS-UP effusively flatters and compliments those in power positions through verbal or physical gestures hoping to gain influence, advantage or favor from them in return. Their behavior suggests an insincere desire to please and curry favor or status through false affection or exaggerated praise.

🤥 A FLATTERER uses excessive, insincere praise, compliments and admiration, usually targeting influential or superior individuals, to advance their own agenda or interests. Their praise is not given in genuine appreciation but rather calculated gain. Flatterers lack authenticity in their interactions in favor of personal benefit and opportunism.

Remember that seeking the approval of others leads us down a path of serving our own selfish will instead of serving the will of God. This sacrifices our own needs, dignity, and independence and shuts down any chance for spiritual growth. Instead, let's focus on living our lives according to God's purpose.

Colossians 3:23 says, "Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." This verse encourages us to put our best effort into everything we do, not for the sake of pleasing others, but because we are ultimately serving God.

When we find ourselves in codependent relationships or acting as a doormat, remember that Galatians 1:10 states, "Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant." Our primary goal should be to please God and live according to His will.

When people pleasing manifests as being a pushover or a sycophant, we must be reminded of Proverbs 29:25 "Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety." Relying on God's guidance and approval is far more valuable than seeking validation from others.

"All the same, many leaders put their faith in him, but wouldn't admit it out loud, for fear that the Pharisees would oust them from the church. They loved human approval more than the approval of God." - John 12:42-43

"Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won't be applauding." - Matthew 6:1

So, let's take a step back and reevaluate our priorities. Are we seeking the approval and validation of others at the cost of our own well-being and spiritual growth?

Let's refocus our efforts on pleasing God, who loves us unconditionally and knows what's truly best for us. 🙏♥️